Archimedes J. Manson

"THE ANIMANIAC"



ARCHIMEDES J. MANSON

THE VITALZ

WRESTLER NAME: "The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson ₍₂₀₂₀₎

ALIAS: "AJM"; "God's Gag Gift to Sports Entertainment"; "Archie"; "A. Stinker"; "Propstar"; "The One Who Knock-Knocks"; "The Prince of Punchlines"; "The Hilarious One"; "The Sultan of Shenanigans"; "The Comedian of Errors"; "His Royal Travesty"; "That Wascally Wabbit"; "Mighty Manson"; April's Fool "The Farce Awakens"; "Fun Dip"; "The Jest There Ever Is, Was and Ever Will Be"

PICTURE BASE: Xavier Woods

AGE: 34

HOMETOWN: The Divided States of Hysteria

RESIDES IN: The SATIRE (Space And Time Interdimensional Residential Explorer)

BILLED FROM: ACME Looniversity

HEIGHT: 5'9"

WEIGHT: 205 lbs

THE GIMMICK

"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson thinks he's hilarious. He considers himself to be the funniest, most entertaining performer to ever step foot into a wrestling ring. The self-proclaimed God's Gag Gift to Sports Entertainment looks at the world through animated eyes and sees everyone and everything as an opportunity for a laugh. He doesn't take anything or anyone seriously, reveling in the chaos that he leaves in his wake. He has taken it upon himself to use Kingdom Pro as his latest vehicle through which to preach his zany gospel. He's fully aware that he's completely insane and embraces his foolishness, living his life however he wants and regardless of how it affects anyone else. In his heart of hearts, he believes he's the most hilarious wrestler of all time and if he has to kick everyone's asses to prove it... he will.

CATCH PHRASES:
"Faboo!"
"Stay Tooned."
"Baboom!"
"Helloooooooooo Nurse!"
"Surprise, Motherfucker!"
"The J Stands For..."

THE MATCH SCHTICK

WALK OUT MUSIC: The Boogie - Outasight

Entrance: Rainbow colored fireworks cues The Boogie by Outasight to kick up through the venue's sound system. "The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson explodes through a paper backdrop of the 'AJM Water Tower'. He's got his trusty BONKERZ-OOKA propped up on his shoulder as he dances down the walkway and towards the ring. As he jumps and bops to the music, he fires the BONKERZ-OOKA into the crowd and drenches various fans with whipped cream. He drops the BONKERZ-OOKA as he gets to the ring and runs up the steps, down the apron and slingshots himself into the ring where more dancing and just plain foolishness goes down until the match begins.

FUNNISHER MOVES
1. "The Punchline" - Rolling Thunder Clothesline
2. "Too Soon?" - Future Shock DDT
3. "Last Laugh" - Inverted Stomp Facebreaker
4. "The Killing Joke" - Fireman's Carry Cutter
5. "You Get What You Fucking Deserve" - Venue Blackout + ?!?! + Lights Flicker + Finger Poke of Doom

ZINGNATURE MOVES
1. "JK! Just Kicking!" - Superkick. Any Variant.
2. "LOL-bow" - Rope Walk Diving Elbow
3. "Fool's Errand" - Shining Wizard
4. "Krabby Patty w/ Everything" - Inverted Boston Crab
5. "Krabby Patty, No Krust" - Boston Crab Backbreaker
6. "ROFLMFAO" - Military Press Double Knee Gutbuster
7. "Put A Smile On That Face" - Crossface w/ Joy Buzzer
8. "Ta-Ta!" -  Rebound Snap Boobplex
9. "Spit Take" - Poison Mist w/ Random Liquid of the Night
10. "No U" - Counter + Opponent's Signature w/ Uno Reverse Card Theatrics
11. "Ha-Hadouken!" - Hadouken Punch w/ Flash Paper Theatrics
12. "After School Special" - Wedgie into School Boy Pin
13. "Shave and a Haircut" - Hammerlock Leg Sweep DDT
14. "Open Mic Fight" - Three Left Handed Punches + Seinfeld Shrug + Right Hook

Come On Moves
Diving Calf Kick
Snap DDT
Tilt-A-Whirl Facebuster
Swinging Fisherman's Neckbreaker
Diving Bulldog
Twisting Springboard Crossbody
Float Over DDT
Springboard Dropkick
Cannonball Senton
Discus Elbow
Single Knee Facebreaker
Tilt-A-Whirl DDT
Hesitation Dropkick
Tilt-A-Whirl Headscissors
Wheelbarrow Facebuster
Reverse Suplex
Rope Walk Body Splash
Falling DDT
Diving Leg Drop
Sliding Reverse STO
Push-Off Dropkick
Tope Con Hilo
Springboard Tornado DDT
Jumping High Knee

MANSON MAGIC

Gag Reflex
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson will often set up promos with his opponents so that he can take that opportunity to prank them. Pranks range from joy buzzers and whoopee cushions to dropping heavy objects on their heads. You never know what's going to happen when you enter in a promo-off with The Animaniac.

Referee At Last! Referee At Last! Thank Zod Almighty, I'm Referee At Last!
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson pounces on the opportunity to secure a victory when the referee is down and out by reaching into his Bag of Tricks and pulling on a Referee Shirt (Orange and Pink color scheme, by the way) and pins an opponent while making a very fast 3 count.

Duck Season
"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson gets into a slapping contest with his opponent. Hopefully, goading them into a back and forth that becomes so routine in such a short time that when he decides to turn the tables and slap himself, his opponent does the same or at least reacts to a slap that never comes. Thus, giving The Animaniac an opportunity to capitalize.

WRESTLING STYLE: 1/3 A.C. Slater + 1/2 Comedic Timing + 5/8 Toon Physics. Blend. Stir. Garnish with a Splash of Nostalgia. Serve on an Unpredictable Platter.

TENDENCY TO CHEAT:
You can ALWAYS count on Archimedes J. Manson to find a way to break the rules. He doesn't believe in rules and believes that victory must be attained at any entertaining cost. Unless, of course, it's funnier to not cheat. Then we're playing a whole different game. Parcheesi, maybe?

WEAPON OF CHOICE: Bag of Tricks
As a prop comedian and magician who knows what "The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson will pull out of his bag of tricks. Sometimes it's a weapon, sometimes it's a gag, sometimes it's food and sometimes it's a person. YOU NEVER KNOW.

IN-RING EXPERIENCE: April 2019 _{(Original Run)}, November 2020 _(Reboot)

"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson ₍₂₀₁₉₎'s first professional run is only available on VHS and those tapes were lost in the Great Malleting. Reports from some of the most ill-advised clickbaiters in the sports industry all agree that while his time in the ring was brief, it was still a better love story than Twilight.

"The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson ₍₂₀₂₀₎ has once again escaped the Water Tower only to find himself no longer in the States and above the offices of Kingdom Pro. With a fresh take on an old gimmick, he's just shown up on the roster of Kingdom Pro ready to entertain and annoy. Not necessarily in that order.

GOODZ

I Was A Teenage Punching Bag: "The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson has always had a knack for being able to handle pain. So much so that it almost seems like he enjoys it. Whether he's being brutalized by an opponent or doing something stupid for a laugh or just plain inflicting it upon himself, he always seems to come away with a smile on his face. If he feels pain, he certainly doesn't show it. Which comes in handy when gaining the mental advantage over opponents or not tapping out to violent submissions. He's almost Addams Familyesque.

Hakuna My Tatas: "The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson doesn't actually care about winning or losing. It's never been part of who he is. Sure, getting a win or a victory over an opponent is what he should be doing as a competitor in professional wrestling but he's actually more worried about having a good time (for him) and entertaining people (the crowd and his fans) while also annoying the holy hell out of his opponents. Sports Entertainment is one big joke and The Animaniac wants to make sure HE delivers the Punchline.

Jokes On You I'm Into That Shit: "The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson is likely an exercise in dealing with what amounts to a live-action cartoon trapped in the world of sports entertainment. He flaunts an attitude and a belief system that is almost impenetrable in its inzanity. There's very little that offends him and he's so much more likely to agree with insults and hatred than to try and defend his position on any topic. He's so mentally unstable that he's mentally bulletproof and that tends to get under the skin of those that want to get into their opponent's heads. Might want to think twice about trying that with this one.

BADZ

What The Actual Fuck: "The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson is an exercise in wtfery and futility. Even he doesn't know what he's going to do next which could sometimes work in others favor. He never really has a plan or a strategy, he just kind of does shit and that could end up going badly for all parties involved. His loyalties are fickle at best and he doesn't even trust himself. The world is already strange and The Animaniac just seems to make it stranger.

Real Life - The Animated Series: "The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson may actually believe that he's a fictional character living in a surreality of meta proportions. His textbook insanity gives him multiple mental issues to deal with running the gamut from multiple personality disorder to schizophrenia and even just plain ol' hallucinations. These things can take over his mind and completely put him in a state of disarray and make him incapable of functioning in a traditional society... or even in the world of sports entertainment. If any of this is actually real. This whole Kingdom Pro thing could just be a figment of his broken imagination.

Wrestlelamia: Can "The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Mason even wrestle? That's the question on the minds of almost everyone that gets into the ring with him... including Archimedes J. Manson. He knows moves and how to perform them. He understands the rules and how professional wrestling works as a product of sports entertainment. Where things fall apart for him are where he needs to take care of business in the more nuanced sense. He may fail to perform tags correctly or be lacking in the ring awareness department or even stay out of the ring too long for count outs. One never really knows if he really doesn't pay attention to such nuances or if it's just funnier this way.

IN-RING ATTITUDE: "The Animaniac" Archimedes J. Manson is not exactly tiny but he is toony and quite a bit looney. A whirlwind hybrid combination of wacky antics, puns, inzanity (insanity and zany combined) are all wrapped up into an explosive entertainer that has a thing for brutal physical comedy and violent displays of comedic timing! He spends just as much time cracking jokes or trying to get the fans to react as he does actual wrestling. He's a bit of a fish out of water and into the frying pan in that way. Very quick to "cheat" as they call it in the business, The Animaniac has a plethora of props and toys and giant mallets to which he uses in order to take down his foes. He really seems to be more of an annoying prankster sprinkled with wrestling moves than a professional wrestler. He also seems to be a glutton for punishment and as expressive as a cartoon character. He's a weird one, Mr. Grinch.

THE BIO GRAPH

Once Upon A Time...

There was a Great Man. This Great Man met this Hot Chick and the two of them did the Horizontal Polka to Lionel Richie's Greatest Hits. Later on, said Hot Chick found out she was With Child as they say. A fast forward session later, she was no longer With Child because a baby came out of her and it was crazy.

There were salad spoons and everything.

By the way, that baby was me! ARCHIMEDES J. MANSON! The J stands for... JUST BORN!

Anyway, I didn't have a name back then and I guess Great Man and Hot Chick decided they didn't want an eating and shitting machine so next thing I know, I'm getting left on the doorstep of a conveniently located Convent.

Skipping forward a bit, I was raised by the strippers in the Convent (Oh, not an actual convent. It was a strip club named The Convent) and they taught me how to watch television and cartoons and informercials. It was a great life. I didn't even have to go to school! But anyway, when I got too old to be wandering around backstage with a bunch of nakey time, I had to get my own place.

So I locked myself in the local water tower.

People say that's why I'm looney now but I don't see it. Just because I talk to things that aren't there, carry around an overgrown mallet in my back pocket and sometimes my eyes pop out of my skull doesn't mean there's anything wrong with me! DOES IT, KEFKA?! DOES IT?!

So. Yeah. I watched a lot of stuff on tv and one time I was on Netflix and saw this show about people punching and kicking and slamming each other around! It looked like so much fun that I had to do it.

I bounced around from wrestling organization to wrestling organization because I kept getting fired. Until I realized that I should probably calm my tits and head over the watery grave to the Reunited Kingdom.

That didn't work out. So now I'm back on the MARKET.

Surprise, Motherfuckers!

THE ACHEEVOS:
• Current ACME Champion _{(May 2020 - Present)}

THE CAZT

Tootie
(Pic Base: Trom Bonne)



Tootie is, for all intents and purposes, Archimedes J.Manson's pet. A musical instrument that also sometimes serves as AJM's moral compass. Tootie very much plays the sidekick role in AJM's life and will back him up in almost every aspect of his life. Tootie also plays music. She very much enjoys the feel of AJM's lips. Rumor has it that AJM and Tootie used to be a thing but decided that their differences were just too much and have remained friends since the 8th Grade.


DJ Pinkie Pie
(Pic Base: Juicy M)



DJ Pinkie Pie's real name is Penelope Ann Vanderschmidt Jenkinoff. She met Archimedes at PonyCon where he was attending and she was performing. The two became fast friends and she's been handling his music cues ever since. Together, they make a great team when it comes to music and performance elements that he incorporates into his lifestyle. Especially at his slumber parties.


Archimedes J. Manson's DD's
(Pic Base: ReQuest Dance Crew)



Archimedes J. Manson's Delicious Dancers (or DDs as he likes to call them) is a dance crew that he acquired during his original run as a professional wrestler. They have since become part of his standard traveling Caravan of Comedy and give him dance-based support as he trots the globe performing for Kingdom Pro. They often disperse themselves into the crowd at shows and sometimes offer "hidden" assistance because he cuts the checks.


Mz. Frizzelle
(Pic Base: Kate McKinnon)



Mz. Frizzelle is a scientist, a teacher and the owner of a "magical" transport that she likes to call the Mischief School Bus. A friend of Archimedes J. Manson, she offers him the insight and the adventure he sometimes needs to see the bigger picture. She often serves as his unofficial psychiatric help to make sure he doesn't go too far off the rocker. She doesn't really interact with his professional lifestyle too much beyond giving Archimedes advice, driving him to his shows or taking him on an adventure that somehow relates to his in-ring trials and tribulations. She's also very much not French but claims her name is. Some people claim she is a figment of Archie's imagination. Others claim she's as magic as Mary Poppins. Nobody knows the truth. Including her.


Wakko Warner
(Pic Base: Wakko Warner 3D)


Wakko Warner is Archimedes J. Manson's Spirit Animal. That's right, while most people have this kind of thing deep down inside that's connected to their core personality and helps push them forward in life, Archie's somehow has escaped the confines of his soul and now runs amok alongside of him. It's unknown if anybody else can actually see this wacky creature but AJM certainly does. Often. All the time, even. Like he actually cannot get rid of him. EVER. You should see them on double dates.


Jessica Rappit
(Pic Base: Justina Valentine)



A Jersey native, Jessica Rappit has been an unsung hip-hop princess for years before falling into the Animaniac's Clutches. They met after she crashed a battle in which she was destroying some local talent in the parking lot of one of his wrestling shows. Archimedes challenged her to a battle and his explosive use of props and unfathomable rhyme scheme brought out her comedic side. She travels alongside Archie and his troupe as a vocal warrior and his own personal Battle Cat. She sometimes even serves the role of Femme Fatale if she has to.

Useless Factz

-- Archimedes J. Manson is completely out of his mind. He's bonkers. A calculating cartoonish individual that will just as easily pie someone in the face as talk to them intelligently. He can't be trusted but less in a 'will do something bad' way and more of a 'will do something insane' way. He's likely more complicated than even he realizes.

-- Archimedes J. Manson is very much into Cosplay and that whole deal. He'll often wear random outfits along with his wild and crazy ring gear. Or in segments, he'll find himself dressed up as another Wrestler or Cartoon or Pop Culture character. He's funky like that.

-- Archimedes J. Manson is very fond of his hair. If you've got it, flaunt it.

-- Archimedes J. Manson is Hilarisexual. A very lesser known sexual orientation that allows him to be attracted to whatever will make the most laughs at any given moment. This may or may not come into play during matches but he is not above dressing up like a woman and kissing an opponent for distraction purposes ala one of his heroes: Bugs Bunny.

-- Archimedes J. Manson believes he's living in a world of cartoons, television and whatever. Therefore, a lot of his antics are done in that style. He'll talk to the camera, smash through the Fourth Wall and generally come across as a somewhat Meta individual. But it's all in good fun. Especially for the camera crew that follows him around 24/7. He's clickbait gold.

-- Archimedes J. Manson will often interact with the fans or the officials or anyone and everyone that he can during shows or matches. That goes for snatching a fan's drink and chugging it or treating a referee to an atomic wedgie or  just showing up backstage where he's not wanted or needed. He's a nuisance and proud of it.